Boys in books parody

Below is my response to the lovely and effervescent Carrie Hope Fletcher whose online gloriousness resides here: 

http://carriehopefletcher.com/
https://twitter.com/CarrieHFletcher
http://www.youtube.com/carrie
http://www.alliknownow.com

You totally should not click on any of those links, and you DEFINITELY shouldn't subscribe to ItsWayPastMyBedtime.

HAH! Are you crazy? Go click on ALL the things! She is totally worth your time.

We do have somewhat different taste in books, however, so I parodied her song to cover as many of my favorite fictional fellows as I could. Is it still a parody if you are 100% sincere?

Anyway, maybe someday someone will sing this for me and I’ll get to act in my (mostly) own music video :-)

Boys in books

It started off with Laurie,

But then Athos came along

I had a thing for Earnest

But my love for Rhett is strong

Or maybe even Atticus

No, but that would just be strange

These boys in books are better

'cause they're never gonna change

I wish I was Rowena

'cause that Ivanhoe is fit

And I'd date Clovis Sangrail

If I thought he would commit

Or maybe Uncle Oswald

Oh, but he’s weird in the buff

These boys in books are better

And I just can't get enough

Of reading everything about them

These guys that we'll always depend upon

And maybe there's a guy out there just like them

Who's looking for a girl like Buttercup...

Nah!

These boys in books are better

'cause they'll be here forever

And we'll always be together

And you can take me bowling

If you were made up by Tolkien

I was sold on Shadow

Who's strong and brave and tall

But then I met farm boy Westley

Who I think seduced us all

But Dan is where my heart is

So Bessie move aside!

But why can’t I have fallen for

The ones that didn't die?

Don't even get me started

On Boromir the Brave

I've looked for Mr Knightley

Girls, he really don't exist

But then again, there's Carrot

So Angua, get out the way

'cause I love a bit of cheesiness

And I love a good cliché

So boys I hope you're taking notice

'cause I'm one in a huge majority

I think that I'm more of a Magrat Garlick

But if you ask me nice, I could be Eowyn

These boys in books are better

'cause they'll be here forever

And we'll always be together

And you could be a player

But I won't care if you're by Terry

Don't make me use the eighth spell

Come on, Teppic

And please bring Elendil

Greebo’s body

With Aragorn’s looks

But hurry up

Before I close the book

These boys in books are better

'cause they'll be here forever

And we'll always be together

And you can be my man

If you've been written by Gaiman

These boys in books are better

'cause they'll be here forever

And we'll always be together

And I know it's an addiction

That I'm in love with fiction

But as long as I'm still breathing

I just have to keep on reading

And it's gonna be red letter

When I find a guy that's better

Than Athos, Westley, Clovis, Jason,

Vetinari, Vimes and Carrot,

Dan, Cyrano, Rhett and Knightley

Earnest, Shadow, Sherlock no chance

Athos, Westley, Clovis, Jason,

Vetinari, Vimes and Carrot,

Dan, Cyrano, Rhett and Knightley

Earnest, Shadow, Sherlock no chance

Athos, Westley, Clovis, Jason,

Vetinari, Vimes and Carrot,

Dan, Cyrano, Rhett and Knightley

Earnest, Shadow, Sherlock no chance

 (Boys in books are better

‘Cause they'll be here forever)

(Boys in books are better

They'll be here forever)

(And it's gonna be red letter

When I find a guy that's better)

(And it's gonna be red letter

When I find a guy that's better)

And it's gonna be red letter

When I find a guy that's better than you...

In order of mention, this is a tribute to:

Louisa May Alcott (Little Women and Jo’s Boys)

Alexander Dumas (The Three Musketeers)

Oscar Wilde (The Importance of Being Earnest)

Margaret Mitchell (Gone With the Wind)

Harper Lee (To Kill a Mockingbird)

Sir Walter Scott (Ivanhoe)

Saki (Chronicles of Clovis)

Roald Dahl (My Uncle Oswald)

Neil Gaiman (American Gods)

William Goldman (Princess Bride)

J.R.R.Tolkien (Lord of the Rings)

Jane Austen (Emma)

Sir Terry Pratchett (Discworld series)

Edmond Rostand (Cyrano de Bergerac)

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (Sherlock series)

Shoutout to those whose names are REALLY hard to fit into a song, such as Edward Rochester, Augustus Waters, the Scarlet Pimpernel, and dear Faramir!