The four-chord song...but with books (and yes, it's eight points)

Book rant. Beware.

Oh, also spoilers.

Just stayed up till 3:10 am to finish reading Me Before You. That's less impressive when you know that I do that any time I have a gripping book that's under 400 pages, but still. I certainly liked it, but honestly, I feel a bit jaded from reading/watching all these mushy love stories where

1. financially challenged, plain and/or clumsy, not-good-at-anything girl with likable qualities and one thing or other and that makes her stand out meets

2. insanely rich, incredibly good looking, standoffish (frequently arsehole) of a boy with mega personality issues

3. they don't get along

4. some event (usually involving her standing up to him and asserting herself in some way) breaks the ice

5. they slowly evolve into friends - he puts his arseholery in check, she learns all sorts of things about herself (usually at his insistence)

6. they find themselves at some special (usually romantically themed) event/location, get intimate

7. have a falling out of some sort, are all depressed without each other

8. get together and live happily ever after OR have a "tragic" ending

The earliest story with almost exactly these plot points that I can think of is Jane Eyre (although Pride and Prejudice fits the bill pretty closely too) and the most recent one I've read is Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell.

Twilight

About a Boy/Hugh Grant movies. Ahem.

Nearly-Weds

I did enjoy reading the book, but I just knew he was going to do the deed in the end even though I clung to the hope that the author might decide to suddenly spin things around. It was just one of those books where touching as it all was, the author was trying to make a statement about what she believes and it came through pretty clearly. 

I'm so sorry, you're not going to want to discuss books with me any more if I'm just going to lay into them and be so terrible but ever since the fateful week when I read all five of John Green's novels (starting with the Fault in Our Stars which I HIGHLY recommend in both book and movie form - although book first - you'll thank me), The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-time Indian, and The Perks of Being a Wallflower (movie STRONGLY recommended, book was kind of a dark, troubled, confusing teenager's mind) I've looked at YA literature and these "deep" romancey novels in a different way. Btw, free life tip: don't ever overdose on YA lit. You come out thinking something is wrong with you for not having had all the same feelings and friends and experiences as the protagonists and hating everyone in the demographic the books were targeted to.

I watched an old Sean Connery action movie with a friend earlier this evening. He couldn't believe the way I picked every point of the movie apart, from nobody thinking of easier ways to get the guards out of the way while they robbed the safe, why did that hardened criminal panic and flee blindly instead of using his practically legendary skills to escape, to how unrealistic it was for someone to strangle another guy with one hand from an awkward angle, etc etc.

I've done the same with books for quite a while now. I pick apart the way the choice of words and how predictable the plot is. I hate, hate, hate the bland, weak, 'every man' characters that one is meant to relate to and the 'dreamy, perfect' ones you are meant to aspire to be in a relationship with.
Expect more, people! Your brain deserves better. You need better!
If an author can't do better than that, read someone else until they can.
I could rant forever but enough said.